dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
