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Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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