I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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