never play flip cup with pint glasses
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
