Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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