you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
