I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
