I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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