If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
