I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
