New invention idea: vibrating tampons
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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