have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
