that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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