omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
