My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
