You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
