3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
