She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
