Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
