Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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