So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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