I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
