i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
