So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
