Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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