I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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