i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
