I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
