I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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