He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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