I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
