Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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