We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
