is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
