My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
