Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Are we still banned from the library?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
