Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I think im going to throw up on grandma
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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