that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
