dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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