Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
