she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize