so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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