Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
