Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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