I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He shit in the fireplace
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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