Me too!
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
