Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I have grass duct taped all over my body
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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