You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
