If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
