i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
