Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
