who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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