i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
COCAINE IS GR8
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