your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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