Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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