quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
