no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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